Is Your Partner Still Hung Up on His Ex? 11 Signs to Watch For

Wondering if your partner is still hung up on his ex? Discover key signs that can help you tell if he’s truly moved on or if past feelings are still lingering. Everyone has a relationship history, but when that past continues to affect the present, it can create tension and complications for a couple.
Whether you’ve just started dating or have been together for years, if your partner isn’t over their ex, it can affect your connection in ways that might be hard to recognize at first. Here are the key signs to watch out for that could suggest your partner may not have fully moved on from their past relationship..

1. Frequent Communication with an Ex

• Constant texting or phone calls: If your partner is texting or calling their ex regularly, especially without any clear reason, it suggests that the emotional connection is still there. Frequent communication is often an indicator that they haven’t fully severed their emotional ties. These conversations can erode the trust and intimacy you’re trying to build together.
• Late-night chats or video calls: If these conversations happen during late-night hours or in private settings, it may suggest that your partner is emotionally involved in a way that goes beyond simple friendship. Late-night conversations are typically more personal, and if they are occurring with an ex, it could be a sign that your partner is emotionally seeking comfort from someone other than you.
• Emotional intimacy through texting: Some partners can maintain emotional intimacy through written words without being physically present, which can create a deeper connection with an ex. If your partner shares personal feelings, concerns, or intimate thoughts with their ex instead of with you, it could indicate that they still rely on that past relationship for emotional support.

2. Social Media Stalking and Obsession

• Tracking their ex’s every move: If your partner is obsessed with what their ex is doing on social media, constantly checking their ex’s posts, likes, comments, or photos, it’s a clear sign of emotional attachment. Even if your partner says it’s casual or harmless, this behavior shows a lack of emotional detachment from the past relationship.
• Involvement in their ex’s life: If your partner seems overly invested in knowing the details of their ex’s life—whether it’s about their new partner, where they’re traveling, or who they’re spending time with—this is a clear sign that their ex is still occupying their thoughts and emotions. This attachment can create feelings of insecurity in your relationship and often leads to unnecessary jealousy or comparison.
• Frequent checking of ex’s friends and family’s posts: Sometimes, social media stalking extends beyond the ex themselves. If your partner spends a lot of time checking out posts from their ex’s friends or family, it signals that they’re still looking for ways to stay connected to that past relationship, even indirectly.

3. Meeting Up in Person

• Continued face-to-face meetings: If your partner is making an effort to meet up with their ex for coffee, lunch, drinks, or even dinner, it’s a clear sign that they haven’t fully closed that chapter of their life. Even if they claim it’s just “friendly” or “innocent,” these meetings can create a bond that undermines the trust and intimacy in your relationship.
• Lack of respect for boundaries: If you’ve expressed discomfort or jealousy about your partner’s meetings with their ex, and they continue to meet up or dismiss your feelings, this could indicate a deeper attachment that they are unwilling to address. It also shows a lack of consideration for your feelings and the respect that should exist in a committed relationship.
• Emotional reunions with ex: Sometimes, these face-to-face meetings aren’t just about catching up—they can be opportunities for old emotional connections to reignite. If your partner’s meetings with their ex involve long conversations about the past or shared memories, it might suggest that they’re emotionally reconnecting with their ex in ways that are inappropriate for a committed relationship.

4. Mixing Up Names or Comparing You to an Ex

• Calling you by their ex’s name: If your partner accidentally calls you by their ex’s name, it’s more than just a simple slip of the tongue. Repeatedly doing this suggests that your partner’s mind is still connected to their ex on some level. It may also indicate that they are subconsciously comparing you to their ex in ways that feel unfair or hurtful.
• Constantly comparing you to their ex: If your partner often compares your behavior, personality, or appearance to their ex, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Whether it’s comparing your cooking to their ex’s cooking or saying things like “My ex used to do this,” it shows that their ex is still taking up space in their emotional world. Constant comparisons can diminish your self-esteem and cause unnecessary tension between the two of you.
• Seeking validation from ex standards: If your partner is constantly measuring your actions against their ex’s actions—whether it’s your way of dressing, your hobbies, or even your opinions—it’s a clear indicator that your partner has not fully separated emotionally from their past relationship. They may be subconsciously waiting for you to live up to their ex’s standards, which isn’t fair to either of you.

5. Refusal to Talk About the Ex

• Avoiding discussions about the past relationship: If your partner refuses to talk about their ex, even when it’s important for you to understand their history, it could signal unresolved emotions. This refusal might stem from feelings that haven’t been fully processed or dealt with, and your partner may still be emotionally attached to their ex.
• Hidden emotions or bitterness: Often, avoiding these conversations comes from a place of emotional pain or lingering affection. Your partner may be refusing to talk about their ex because they haven’t fully healed from the relationship, or they may be afraid of stirring up unresolved feelings. This can be a major barrier to building trust and intimacy in your relationship.
• Reluctance to share past experiences: A partner who isn’t comfortable sharing stories or experiences from their past relationship might still be emotionally processing or grieving that time in their life. If your partner seems closed off about discussing the past, it may suggest they haven’t yet let go, making it difficult to fully engage with you in the present.

6. Negative Talk About the Ex

• Frequent complaints and criticisms: If your partner continually brings up negative stories about their ex, it could indicate that they’re not truly over the relationship. While some criticism is normal, constant negative remarks about an ex can be a way to convince themselves they made the right decision, but it can also suggest lingering feelings of anger, hurt, or attachment.
• Fixation on negative emotions: If your partner is still talking about their ex with bitterness or anger, it often means that they haven’t processed the emotional aftermath of the breakup. Unresolved feelings can sometimes keep a person emotionally tied to their ex, even if those feelings are negative.
• Projecting ex-related issues onto you: Sometimes, a partner who hasn’t fully healed from a breakup may start projecting their ex’s flaws or behavior onto you, creating unnecessary conflicts. If your partner is still fixated on past relationship issues, it could be a sign that they’re not emotionally available to create a healthy relationship with you.

7. Holding Onto Keepsakes or Memories

• Emotional attachment to physical items: Keeping photos, gifts, or mementos from an ex can signal that your partner hasn’t emotionally detached from their past. Whether it’s a picture on the wall or a small keepsake they refuse to throw away, it shows that they might be holding on to the memory of the relationship.
• Sentimental value: Sometimes, people hold onto these objects for sentimental reasons, but this emotional attachment can keep the ex’s presence alive in your partner’s mind, making it difficult to fully embrace a new relationship.
• Gifts or items that were given by the ex: If your partner still holds on to gifts or items that were given by their ex—such as jewelry, clothing, or other personal possessions—it can suggest that they are emotionally clinging to their past relationship. These items can become physical reminders of the ex that prevent your partner from fully investing in the present relationship.

8. Frequent Mention of Their Ex

• Bringing them up in everyday conversations: If your partner consistently mentions their ex in conversations about everyday life—whether it’s in casual chats or more serious discussions—it could indicate that they haven’t let go. Your partner’s ex should not dominate your relationship’s discussions; you should feel like the focus of their attention and emotional energy.
• Unnecessary references to shared memories: If your partner frequently refers to things they used to do with their ex or brings up old memories that involve them, it shows that the past is still alive in their mind. These references can create tension and make it hard for you to feel emotionally secure in the relationship.

9. Talking About an Ex’s New Relationships

• Obsession with their ex’s new romantic life: If your partner talks obsessively about their ex’s new partner or new relationship, it’s often a sign that they’re still invested in their ex emotionally. They may feel jealousy or curiosity about their ex’s new partner, indicating they haven’t fully moved on.
• Intrusive thoughts about the ex’s love life: If your partner is constantly inquiring about their ex’s romantic pursuits or expressing emotions tied to their ex’s new relationships, it may show that their thoughts are still occupied with someone from their past. This emotional attachment can interfere with your ability to feel secure and valued in your current relationship.

10. Staying in Touch with an Ex’s Family

• Maintaining family relationships: If your partner is still in contact with their ex’s family members or spends time with them, it could be a sign that they have not fully moved on. Sometimes, exes’ families may continue to reach out, but your partner should prioritize your relationship over lingering ties to an ex’s family.
• Resisting cutting ties: If your partner refuses to distance themselves from their ex’s family, especially after you’ve expressed discomfort, it could indicate that they’re still emotionally attached to their ex in ways that are unhealthy for your relationship.

11. Refusal to Let Go of the Past Relationship

• Inability to emotionally detach: A partner who refuses to let go of the past relationship is emotionally unavailable to move forward with you. Whether it’s an inability to fully heal or an unwillingness to move on, the past will keep reappearing, and it will be difficult to establish a healthy, future-focused connection.
• Carrying emotional baggage into the present: Your partner may not even realize that they’re still carrying emotional baggage from their past relationship into your current one. However, if they continue to allow the past to affect your relationship, it will be hard to truly build something new together.

By identifying these signs early, you can assess whether your partner is truly emotionally available for your relationship or if they are still living in the shadow of a past love. If you notice any of these behaviors, it’s important to have open and honest conversations with your partner about your concerns. You deserve a relationship built on trust, emotional connection, and mutual respect, and sometimes that means acknowledging when it’s time to move on if someone isn’t fully emotionally present.